Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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