Where did you get a picture of my penis
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize