I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
