I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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