I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
