I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
