I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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