so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
