did you get engaged???
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
