come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
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You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
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thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.