its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him