Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Did you hit it?

(616): View more from Michigan

Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): Did you hit it? (616): Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes. http://tfl.nu/3ocm

Replies (10) Good night (1126) Bad night (2166)
Favorite
(630): View more from Illinois

I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(630): I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg http://tfl.nu/sw6a

Replies (15) Good night (1464) Bad night (4105)
Favorite
(812): View more from Indiana

My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(812): My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too. http://tfl.nu/4mju

Replies (98) Good night (3853) Bad night (9164)
Favorite
(347): View more from New York

These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(347): These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever. http://tfl.nu/3sd9

Replies (14) Good night (3592) Bad night (1078)
Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign. http://tfl.nu/rxal

Replies (6) Good night (4072) Bad night (1109)
Favorite
(530): View more from California

sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(530): sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/p21d

Replies (29) Good night (2288) Bad night (622)
Favorite
(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(902): So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend. http://tfl.nu/e1lt

Replies (5) Good night (2641) Bad night (616)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck. http://tfl.nu/8cn6

Replies (2) Good night (587) Bad night (845)
Favorite
(774): View more from Massachusetts

I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(774): I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-) http://tfl.nu/aq14

Replies (8) Good night (1607) Bad night (594)
Favorite
(951): View more from California

I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(951): I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays. http://tfl.nu/owjt

Replies (0) Good night (312) Bad night (737)
Favorite
(262): View more from Wisconsin

Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(262): Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset http://tfl.nu/8p8i

Replies (7) Good night (1056) Bad night (393)
Favorite
(419): View more from Ohio

Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(419): Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down. http://tfl.nu/vl8q

Replies (2) Good night (741) Bad night (304)
Favorite
(704): View more from North Carolina

So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(704): So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around... http://tfl.nu/dav9

Replies (0) Good night (716) Bad night (292)
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink. http://tfl.nu/ln3w

Replies (4) Good night (766) Bad night (367)
Favorite
(805): View more from California

Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(805): Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves. http://tfl.nu/hmsm

Replies (4) Good night (839) Bad night (280)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: