Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something