Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
