You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
