You made me cry and you don't even care
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
