can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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