Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
