she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
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I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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