oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
