if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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