My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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