just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
