Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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