im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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