Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
