I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
