Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
