2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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