You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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