so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
