Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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