Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
