ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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