it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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