do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
