This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
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He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
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Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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