If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
