you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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