He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
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I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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