I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my phone needs a breathalizer
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
