I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
