there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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