just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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