Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
