uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
