You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
