Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize