Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
