Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I understand Curling. That high.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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