Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
