I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
