All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think people are normalizing furries
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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