How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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