I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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