I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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