You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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