When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
