ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
