I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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